Monday, February 7, 2011

I'm a Twinkie - I Think?

According to Urban Dictionary, and thanks to my Ragnar Relay running friends, I learned what I really am, a Twinkie.

The definition reads as follows: An Asian person who is either adopted or living in a white community. Hence, yellow on the outside and white on the inside.

When I heard this, I immediately thought, oh my goodness, this is me! Growing up in a pretty much all white community, my world has remained pretty much all white. I think I know two or three Asian people, but I'm pretty confident they're Twinkies too. However, today I was wondering just how much of a true Twinkie I was, so I thought I'd just do a little test. Following are a few Asian stereotypes and whether or not I fit them. Please know that I am not racist. This is all in good fun. I love everyone.

  • Asians are good at math: This one is a toss up. I'm an Accountant, I should probably say yes. The thing is, I'm pretty good at what I do, but I suck at geometry. So, I'm going to say tie. Asian - 1. Twinkie - 1
  • Asians are overachievers: Dangit. I can't even argue here. Asian - 2. Twinkie - 1.
  • Asians are quiet: Anyone who really knows me knows that this is NOT true. Asian - 2. Twinkie - 2.
  • Asians are hardworking: I'd like to think so. Asian - 3. Twinkie - 2.
  • All Asians know kung-fu: Hell yes. Don't piss me off. Asian - 4. Twinkie - 2.
  • Asians have heavy accents: Yoo wan fry ry wiff tha hapee famlee? Negative. My mom says I've got a little southern twang if anything at all. Asian - 4. Twinkie - 3.
  • Asian females have bold bangs: Not since the fourth grade. Asian - 4. Twinkie - 4.
  • Asians can sew: HUH? You want me to do what? No. Asian - 4. Twinkie - 5.
  • Asians are horrible drivers: Have y'all seen my car? I'm a double threat. Woman AND Asian. Asian - 5. Twinkie - 5.
  • Asians are technologically savvy: My 7 year old daughter knows more about electronics than I do. This would be a big fat no. Asian - 5. Twinkie - 6.
  • Asian is synonymous with Chinese: PUH-LEASE. For the 4,987th time, I am not CHINESE! I am a twinkie. Asian - 5. Twinkie - 7.
  • I eat dog: Lately, I don't eat much at all. Asian - 5. Twinkie - 8.
  • Asians all have flat faces and squinty eyes: As much as I'd like to say I don't fit this one, there's not one of us that can deny it. It's our trademark. Asian - 6. Twinkie - 8.
  • Asians are athletically inferior: Has anyone ever seen me try to be athletic? Yep. Asian - 7. Twinkie - 8.
  • Asian women wear open toed shoes year round: Thank you Jessica. Asian - 8. Twinkie - 8.
  • Asian women are submissive: I'm about as submissive as a pissed off bulldog. Asian - 8. Twinkie - 9.
  • Asian women are obssessed with Hello Kitty: Not since I was 4. Asian - 8. Twinkie - 10.
I'm sure there's some I'm missing, so if you think of some, please let me know so I can add them. I'm open to suggestions. As it is now, I am still a Twinkie. Yay for Twinkies.