If I Were a Guy

If I were a guy, my name would probably be spelled Aaron. I would probably have short hair and hopefully be a little taller. (Wait, who am I kidding, I'm Asian, we're all short).

Okay, that's not what this post is about. This post is about how, if I were a guy, I can imagine these things about women would drive me nuts. It's nothing against women, some of these things are characteristics or attitudes that I possess and exercise.

So, here's a few things that I would imagine would drive me nuts, if I were a guy. Some guys may not be bothered by these, but again, these are my opinions.

High Maintenance: I just don't get it. Girls who have to have things just right or else they throw a fit. For example, if their food touches on the plate they throw it away. Or the girl who won't drink tap water, even if you have a filter. Or the girl who is only focused on name brands.

Whiny: Does this even need any detail? I mean, sure it can be cute for maybe a sentence or two, but anymore past that it's like nails on the chalkboard. My kids even know better to whine - it means a spanking is coming. It's like women revert to their 5 year old self to get their way.

Spend Forever Getting Ready: I honestly don't get this one. I can be showered, dressed, make up done and out the door in 30 minutes... if I have to. But two hours? Come on girls, if you neeed that long, nothing is going to make it look better.

Not Accepting a Compliment: So a guy tells a girl that she looks great in a dress. She immediately responds "Oh, no, I look fat!" Really? If you honestly thought you looked fat, you wouldn't be wearing it. Say thank you and move on.

Drama, Drama, Drama: I am not sure what draws women to this, but seriously - it is no longer high school, or junior high for that matter. Grow up, act like an adult, and stop gossiping and being a drama queen; because karma is a bitch.

Try to change them, but then get mad if they mention something you could do differently: Let people be themselves. If you don't like that, then move on, he's not the right one. You don't like it when he does it to you? Don't do it to him.

Cry for no apparent reason: There are times when crying is perfectly acceptable. But don't do it just to get attention. That's annoying.

Roll your eyes because he wants to watch sports: You know how you love to shop? He loves to watch football. Don't whine, but don't talk the entire time if you are watching with him. Let him enjoy it.

Read into What He Says: If he says I'm tired, I want to go to bed early, don't start thinking he no longer likes you. The boy is tired.

Get mad when he doesn't call during boys night: When you're out with your girlfriends, you want to enjoy your time. Let him enjoy his time. He'll make a point to call you during boys night if he's really into you.

Overanalyze: Just don't do it. If you must, do it with your girlfriend. Not him.

Always have to be the center of attention: Need I say more?

Criticize things they love: A shirt from high school; their mother; the music they love; their favorite movie; that old gross pair of house shoes. Let them love it. And love them for it.

Not making a decision: Just decide. Be assertive. Don't always say "I don't care."

Be needy: In fact, be your own person. Be the type of woman that when you wake up in the morning and your feet hit the floor, the devil says "Oh shit, she's up".